two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
