Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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