New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize