I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
