guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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