I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize