batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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