she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
