either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
