Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
