Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
