we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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