If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
