During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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