Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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