How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
