idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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