WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
