the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
