dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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