btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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