we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
