..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize