I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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