found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
