So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
