party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
