I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
