Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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