I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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