I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
