Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
