yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
