Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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