He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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