Im at strip club and am horny
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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