i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
