I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
