I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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