Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
