I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
