My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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