Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
