he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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