sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
