No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
