yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize