how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I cut my penus on the lid.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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