shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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