whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
