It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
