he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
