i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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