recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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