Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
