I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
