are you still at the devil's house?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
All I want is dick and wine.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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