The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
