Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
