Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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