You can't special order awesome
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
