yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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