Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
