The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize